You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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