evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
