You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
