Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
