Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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