if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
