i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's get the cat blown out
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
