Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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