Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
