i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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