i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
