i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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