So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
