is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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