I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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