I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
