That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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