I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ladies don't puke and tell
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
