Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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