Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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