omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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