i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
