im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
