It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
