this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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