STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
