waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
