just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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