Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
