i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
