i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
