happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
