is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
