It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
