Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
