Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
