Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
