I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
