They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
