Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
