One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
