it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
