just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
