Farmville is her only friend.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
