I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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