Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
