So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
