Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
