Taylor Swift is so right about you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
