My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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