you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
