at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
