Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
