i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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