Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
