i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
